I told myself, if I were to run for it, I will try my best. Yet, I didn't. I allowed time to consume me, to overwhelm me. I should have known better.

A year has passed, well, almost. And I have nothing but regrets. Perhaps this is an experience to tell me, that I am not suited to lead. I'm somewhere awkward in the middle. I'll never settle for second and yet, never good enough for first.

I should learn to adjust my ego, to bow down to others.

It is a regret, a regret so painful, I fear facing it again. I don't want to run away from training when I come back, yet, I don't think I have the courage to return.

Perhaps life would be better without Taekwondo. My passion, will it just end like that?

I really love Taekwondo, although I hardly said it out loud because I feel that I'm not fit to.

Why can't the club be somewhere to exercise, to train for fun? Why must we always aim for excellence and perfection? Why can't it just be recreational?

Why can't I find a club I can fit in?