Kaixin.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

[[ Post-prom and everything to do with NJ ]]

edited: This is a super long post!! Means you can entertain yourself for damn long. Means I can damn long don't post. HOHO

Well, and so I am done with the very last activity that will ever have anything to do with NJ. (excluding getting results)

Well, I can predict that this is going to be a long long post. Before I continue, I guess I should post the pictures and the people that made, however little, an impression in my life in NJ.

Yixuan: Well, I guess I wasn't very close to him. I only remember the funniest thing was during orientation. We were supposed to do some introduction thing, like 1 to 1 kind. When I got to him, because we were both wearing RV uniform, I told him I never knew he existed in RV and he said "I didn't know you existed too." Perhaps not those exact words but something along that line.
Well.. S18-PAE was fun. It was a totally different experience compared to all the classes I have been in RV.

Felix: Mr Hao-ren!! Haha. He is a super nice guy!! Would be nice to have him as a brother! ^^ I still remember there was once, during PE, we had to do some 2.4Km trial run, he was running behind me(obviously he lapped me one round la huh.) and gave me a pat on my shoulder and said jiayou and ran with me for a short distance before running off. (timing needed ma) Super nice right. So quite happy that at least I know that guys can be nice too. =)

Ailin: Only got to know her during orientation. Super nice girl. I guess orientation really allowed me to get to know more people and learn how to work with them. Ailin is super nice and supportive! Super funny too. Although I didn't get to know her better, at least the time spent together then was fun. :)

Shanly Tan Li Han, a.k.a Shan LI: Eh, I think this person no need say anything la huh. Friends so damn long liao.. Go read her bdae post la.. Just post this cux I think she look super not like herself! For once I think wearing like that she can go watch M18 movies without a pass. Wahahah.. OPs

Ma Rui: I won't deny that initially, I was apprehensive about making friends with her. Cux her reputation in RV wasn't all that good. But I realise she is damn nice and funny. This shows how much rumours and gossip can actually do to harm one. Lesson learnt too. Never judge others if you do not personally know them. Even so, judging by single to a couple of incidents may lead to grave mistakes too. I remember not daring to take bus with her because I was afraid of making small talk with her cux not shou ma. But as time passed, I realised she is really nice and all that fear was for nothing.

Wensi: Classmate+bandmate+Rvbandmate. Yet, I not very shou with him. Haha. But I guess somethings did happen and well, we all learnt something isn't it.

Jiahao: We had a nice start to a friendship but I guess it was never meant to be la. Used to be quite close after JAE. But I guess things just changed. We all needed to start studying and spent lesser time in the bandroom. Well, more like i spent lesser time in the bandroom. So we didn't really remain close after that. But still, he is a super duper ultra nice guy. Carmen is so lucky. Haha

Carmen: Don't really know her. Her temper used to scare me. But she is better now. :) Nice having her as a bandmate. :)

Andrew: Was apprehensive about taking pictures with him. Eh, initially, when Lisa was still around, talked to him quite a bit, going to Lisa's house and everything. But things sort of changed. I still don't agree with what you did before. Although you did appologise, I guess it is more of like what's done is done. But at least, its all over. :) All the best for you.

Eugene: Heh. Jiemei!!! Haha. The best jiemei ever. Haha. Super nice to talk to. I guess a lot of things I wanna say about you in the various letters la.. No need say here right. We have been through quite a lot i guess. Especially my section..

Zeyi: The totally after A levels brain throw away person. He doesn't know what is hanky panky! OMT! Haha..

Vanessa: I don't know how things would have turned out if I handled things differently. But at least we all walked through the same path. I still remember the beginning, when we went home together and everything. Things were pretty simple then isn't it?

French horn section: We all have our ups and downs. At least in the end, we were all still gracious enough to take a final photo together. I think it is undeniable that there is this part of us, however little, that is glad we are all going our separate ways. Sometimes, no matter how hard we all try, things will never work out. We have walked through a lot. All the though times, the trash out talk, the crazy period of SYF, the intense Etude practices. So many things that we will never experience with others. No matter how much we hated or loved those times, it is a part of a memory no one else will ever understand. Given a choice, I will still want to play in the same section. Because you guys taught me things I will never learn from others.

Engkwan: Corny picture! Fellow bandmate for like 6 years? But then again.. We not very shou la.. LOL

Jeffery: Woots!! I am taller! Haha.. A pro trumpet player. :)

Band PHOTO!!

The clique!

With sheryan.

The girls

AISH!!

Suriya.

Laopa.

with 2 lao pas!!

Fengping.

Trent

Timo!!

Joson: Hoho.. Actually I don't even know him la.. But cux thought he quite hao kan that day.. so want take picture with him!! So damn gan ga!! Look at my face know liao..

Conan: 4 years classmate. Only got to know him like a tenny wheeny bit better in the last few months of this year. Haha.. But I guess I won't be getting to know him even better cux I don't think we will meet again la.. Other then class outings lo..

Ahnia: Heh.. You better be nice to cindy hor. Or i box you.

Weijian: Eh.. this photo also damn weird. Cux he was there with conan and ahnia. Then shun bian take picture de? Haha..

Chunmun

Shibin

Jingan

Waikit

Minghan: He damn zai at zi pai. This pic is he take de can.. Don't really know him. Only know him cux he come for CO audition then he is Cherylnn's friend. Then after that got talk quite a few times. So is like a bit more shou than hi-bye friends but not that shou to like call or sms lo.. Haha.

Hanxie: OMT.. We same school for like god knows how long!! ZHPS, RVHS then NJC!! Same class in sec 3 and 4 too!! ^^

Marcus: Another super nice guy from S18!! He is really damn damn damn damn nice. Haha

Serene: She looks very sweet!! Haha.. ZHPS!! Then Huikiow's friend!! Then last time orientation 2 know her de!! ^^

Zhaodong

Geraldine

Daphne: Super nice girl!! She can dance damn well too!! Best couple too!! Haha.. ^^

Jiaxiang

Benjamin aka TU DI!!

Anthony

Weizong

Benedict

Weiwen

Joshua

Teoh guan

Mr nice guy again.. haha

Jinxian: BP guy. haha

The band guys.

I think everyone can sense that I got a little lazy at introducting the people towards the end. Super lazy. Too bad. Actually I have lots more to say but I am too lazy.

Some people didn't attend prom!
I so wanted to take pictures with them!
Like YINGZI LOR.
And others too la..

I think my life in NJ, especially this year is a super "exciting" one. With so many things happening.
Got into a relationship, broke up, forged a super deep friendship, had cold war with the very same person, had a clique that I thought would be the best in my life, yet things were not meant to be.
Made a friend that I thought I never will, learned to give in to others.
Bonded with the best section ever, yet have a trash out session among the seniors.
Thought NJ band would be the best in my life. Yet, things were not as sweet as it seemed.

I don't know if I should actually hold on to anything from NJ at all.
It seems funny isn't it. I think Shan would agree. To enter the school as strangers, to leave as strangers. Yet when we were still in school, we became the closest that we can ever be.

PAE was the more stress free period I ever had. It was all fun and laughter until it was time to leave. Given a choice, I would choose the same ending. Because we should all leave when the memories were all still happy.
S22, a class I thought is doomed to be separated. We tried so hard to push a class outing but none was successful until the national day celebrations last year at yingrui's house. Yes I still remember because that was the happiest day in S22 I ever had before that.
I am glad we all bonded and became how we are today. Perhaps we won't meet again because I know how hard it will be to arrange a outing. But I am glad I got to this class. Memories last, even if the friendships don't.

I guess I never clarified what happened during that 2 months I was super emo. I don't know if you will read this. But I realised the reason why I don't want to talk about it.
It is the actions that hurt me deeply. Even if you explained why you did it, it is the action that hurts, not the reason. I don't want things to turn out that after I tell you, we will argue over, or have cold war again over what happened. You will definitely defend yourself. I won't want to listen because truthfully, I am not very interested in the reasons. Only the actions. So I hope that that closes the chapter. Whether we will be able to start on a new one, let destiny decide.

Relationships. Actually, till today, there are still so many questions in my mind. Yet, I don't want to care about it anymore. Because I fear that the more I know the more I hate you. And I already hate you to the core. I guess you must be thinking what created the sudden change. From agreeing to be friends to the stage I hate you. Perhaps you can go think about the things that happened in that period. Perhaps one day, when the time is right, I would tell you. But till then, you are still out of my life, my contacts, my everything.

Actually I don't know if I should be happy or sad about leaving NJ and the memories of it behind me.
NJ really gave me a lot. Made me learn a lot.
The things I learned in NJ, experienced in NJ is something RV never gave me. Not that RV wasn't good. In fact, I miss life in RV. Whereby days were peaceful and serene. Although mundane, at least days were without conflicts.

In NJ, too many things happened. I forged a friendship I thought I will never give up on. I guess I was wrong.
Things happen and I learnt that the word "never" should not even exist.
Nothing is absolute in life. Nothing is ever 100% sure.
Especially when it is about inter-personnel interactions.
Friendships, relationships, everything there is. Things change.

I would really like to go on, but I guess it is already a very long post. More about this another time perhaps. Or perhaps never.

5:00 PM forever love on Y